Darkness & Light is a narrative body of work that functions as a visual timeline, reflecting upon the ways in which my life has changed over the past few years. My current work is guided by my personal spiritual beliefs and how those beliefs have affected my life. I was surprised to find this art-making process to be both cathartic and enlightening. Throughout the creation of this body of work, I collaborated with various individuals within my community to create a collective design for the final artwork that viewers might find inspiring. The involvement of community within my work was inspired by an Art Education seminar course I participated in, which has shaped the way I view art education.
My education and experiences have shaped my perspective on life over the past few years, which is represented in this series by the gradually changing palettes and style of each artwork. Discovering the dichotomy between my actions and changing values caused tension and emotional strain. The individual palettes of the works within this series transition from dark to light, symbolizing the process of resolving cognitive dissonance and conflicting feelings in my life. The style of works in this series provide an additional transition from abstract to realism, symbolizing the clarity I have found in education and experience. Late Night Gremlins, a work of absolute abstraction, represents the lack of control I felt as I struggled to cope with the uncertainty of life. Initially, my lack of experience and insight left me questioning myself as I wrestled with self-confidence and self-image. Each following work moves towards realism signifying personal revelations. Blessings, a photo-realistic work, represents the assurance I have found in pursuing art education and other personal goals.
The assurance and clarity I have discovered in education and experience did not occur in straightforward, linear process. When I sought out on this journey of purpose and peace, I did not know where I was headed. My abstract artistic practice occurs in a similar way. I experience intense emotions which lead me to physically process my mental experiences through a collective process of singing, dancing, praying, and creating, without a clear vision. Often times, my emotions precede my understanding of them, thus the sole purpose of the beginning stages of creating an abstract artwork is cathartic. Once the initial art-making experience is complete, I return to the work to reflect upon the origin of the emotions I experienced and determine the purpose of the artwork. At this point, I might leave the work as is, like Late Night Gremlins, or I might decide to continue adding to the work as I did with Dispirited.
I first discovered therapeutic benefits of the tactile experience of making art through my work with Late Night Gremlins, which was finger-painted. Since the creation of this work, my hands have become the primary application tool used in all my art-making. My passion for creating lies in the experience of directly interacting with materials. Most of the works within this body were created by the relentless rubbing of oil pastel onto canvas. Many of the colors I used within the works were mixed directly on the canvas by a rubbing application. This method of application is slow and repetitive, which became meditative and restorative.
Since an overwhelming amount of healing resulted from this meditative process, I decided to remain open minded to allow the works to unfold naturally. I did not foresee this body of work turning into a collection of self-portraits, though I desired to display experiences from my life, similar to the way Edgar Degas depicted everyday life in his work. I was exposed to Degas’ work early in my art education, which has had a lasting impact. Degas’ influence is especially apparent in Closer II as dark black lines define the clothing draped upon the main figure, resembling the way Degas would render his dancers’ leotards. My artistic approach to realism is similar to Degas’ in that preliminary sketches and dominating lines determine composition.
This series concludes with In Progress, a sketch expressing the influences currently working in my life, and Testimonies, a collaborative work. Over the course of this work, I have discovered areas in my life that still require healing. The depicted weed in In Progress symbolizes the unnecessary, negative aspects of my past that I continue to hold onto, and the spreading roots reveal self-deceptions that prevent me from growing. In Progress intentionally looks like a preliminary sketch, because my journey of self-discovery is not yet complete. The collaboration process of Testimonies was not only an attempt to find additional healing, support, and encouragement, but also an invitation for the community to partner with me on this project.
The process of creating Darkness & Light has solidified some of my beliefs about art education. First, I believe students should have the option to engage in non-traditional approaches of art-making as they might provide unexpected therapeutic benefits. In order for students to feel comfortable expressing themselves honestly, I will structure a learning environment that is safe and inviting. Second, I believe community involvement is a necessary component of quality art education. When students collaborate, they benefit from the strengths and insights of other individuals, which leads to increased learning and better understanding. Also, the process of collaboration allows for unexpected outcomes that might stretch beyond the original vision of a project. Being open to organic processes will allow opportunities for my students to solve problems, make judgments, and consider different perspectives. Creating Darkness & Light has been a culminating experience that has provided me with a greater understanding of the various phases of creating a body of work and how that experience applies to my role as an art educator.